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Fanfiction Introduction:
I write a bit of everything, actually. I'm not very fond of writing fluff, though I love to read it, but you'll find both fluff, angst, romance, smut, au, and my favorite; allegorical stories, here in my LJ.
My favorite fanfiction writer is halcyon-morn, you can go to his fic archive if you feel like it~

Other people that inspire me with their amazing writing are mywookness, allmidnighter, wookiescookie, rei-ming and slutkyu

I round my word count to the nearest 50.

Rating of stories:
g: no sexual content
pg: kissing; suggestions of sexuality
pg-13: erotic content
r: inexplicit sex
nc-17: explicit sex

About Me:
My name is Silke, I'm 19 years old and I want to be your friend, kekekeke~
I've lived for roughly a year in Japan, and I've been to Korea for one month. Right now I live in Denmark though and from September 2012, I'm studying Japanese at Copenhagen University.
More than anything I'm an ELF.

Other groups I fangirl over are (but are not limited to): SHINee, EXO, Infinite and Teen Top.

My top biases are; Ryeowook, Sungmin, Donghae, Kyuhyun, Eunhyuk, Taemin, Luhan, Kai, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Tao, Myungsoo, Sungjong, Sungyeol and Niel.

My top pairings are; ANY pairing with my biases. I ship them with everything that walks and talks, really. From the same reason, there's some rare pairings on my LJ, such as Eunwook, which I am quite fond of, because they're both my biases (and they're both perfect.)

If you want to request anything, feel free, I don't mind~

Love Is a Losers Game

Originally posted here, for SHINee Secret Santa 2012.

For: chocolaiit
From: Your Secret Santa

Title: Love Is a Losers Game
Pairing: Minho/Key
Rating: pg
Warnings: none
Authors’ Notes: I was requested an ice skating fic and… I know nothing about skating. But wiki taught me! Now I know everything, lol. It was a lot of fun to write and I hope you will enjoy ^^

To Minho, skating has always been his passion, something which makes him feel alive. Then one day he has an accident and is unable to keep it up at a competitive level. Luckily his friend Jessica knows just how to make him enjoy skating again, even though he won’t be able to win any medals.Collapse )


Modern Love

As originally posted here, for sujuexchange's Secret Santa 2012

Title: Modern Love
Recipient: kat_elric @ lj
Characters/Pairings: Sungmin/Ryeowook and Heechul
Rating: R
Genre(s): AU in which Sungmin is a photographer and Ryeowook a waiter and… they have a blog?
Warnings: the general warnings that follow something R-rated; blow jobs, partly nudity, sex, swearing, etc., no explicit sex though
Author's Note: The prompts I was given, were these pictures with quotes from tumblr and I thought; well, that’s what love is nowadays, isn’t it? And… this was the product made from that specific thought. There you go. Made from these prompts: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mad5v8T8r11rzxnwvo1_500.jpg , http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_macu303EoB1rsbq39o1_500.jpg , http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_madqj1pYkM1rw9n3to1_500.png ,

A late afternoon sun shone through the high, tilted windows of the rented top-floor apartment, making the dust in the air visible in its ray of light.
“What are you doing?”
The voice asking was sweet and gentle and Sungmin eased into the arms that was holding him from behind, not taking his eyes of the computer screen.
“I’m writing an entry about how we met.” He answered, lifting a hand to protect his eyes from the sun radiating through the windows, slightly warming up his cold and stiff body, which hadn’t moved from the spot in front of the computer for several hours.
“A warm afternoon in October I went on a weekend trip to the countryside. I was taking a walk when I saw him for the first time. His cheeks where blushed, his skin pale and his lips spread in a heart-warming smile. I knew that I loved him, from the moment I lay my eyes on him.” Ryeowook read the words aloud and stopped with an almost harsh laugh.
“That’s not how it happened at all!” the younger boy shook his head, still laughing. “Are you deliberately lying or do you honestly not remember?”
“I wouldn’t call it lying. I’m…” Sungmin searching for an appropriate word for while, then answered; “romanticizing.” He turned around to face his boyfriend. “Would you prefer I write the real story?”
Ryeowook answered with a cringe. “On your blog? For everyone to see? I’d rather you didn’t.”
This time it was Sungmin’s time to laugh and he rose from his seat, only to cup Ryeowook’s small face in his hands and gently kiss him. “Our meeting is far more romantic than anything I can come up with. I wish you’d let me write it for the world to read.”
The younger boy blushed deeply, not returning his boyfriends gaze at him. “You know I can’t resist you..” he muttered, then stumbled confusedly out the room, mumbling some incoherent words about having to leave for work.

Sungmin rubbed his eyes, wondering how long he had been writing while going to the kitchen for another cup of coffee. His phone rang just as he took his first sip of the now lukewarm drink.
“Sungmin-Shi, can I beg you a favor? One of our photographers just cancelled, we really, really need someone to fill out for him -”
The blond guy took another sip of his coffee, while listening to the guy in the other end of the telephone begging, then interrupted him; “Heechul-hyung, don’t worry, Ryeowook isn’t at home right now, so I’ve got nothing better do anyway.”
A relieved sigh followed by curses, for not saying so right away.
The light at the studio was too bright, too white and artificial, nothing like the natural sunlight Sungmin adored. He wasn’t meant for taking photos of stiff models in uncomfortable clothes.
“Why doesn’t he want you to write the real story?”
Heechul could be a pain in the ass and honestly wasn’t among Sungmin’s best friends, but nonetheless he appreciated the man’s straightforwardness and ability to read the mood.
“I don’t know.” He answered with a shrug, waiting impatiently for the next model.
“What? Is your love-story that embarrassing?”
“wait, what- no.” Sungmin turned to face the magazine director, dressed in fashionable clothing and with a pair of black thick-rimmed glasses framing his feminine face. “No, actually, it’s quite romantic. It’s… almost 3 years ago now? I forgot my phone in this café where Ryeowook still works…”

…Sungmin had been in the café for a business meeting with a client and had been so excited about getting the job that he, when following the client out, had forgotten his phone on the table and didn’t discover so until he was home.
No big fuss though, he simply went back the following day to get it back. And behind the counter this stunningly beautiful boy was standing, following him closely with sharp eyes and even sharper cheekbones.
“I forgot my phone here yesterday.”
The young man handed him the phone, turned off, and said; “if you know the password, I’ll assume you’re telling the truth.”
Sungmin entered it and showed the unlocked phone to the waiter behind the counter before ordering a caffe latte. He couldn’t make himself leave.
He sat down at a nearby table, from where he was able to keep an eye discreetly on the waiter most of the time. Being away from his phone for a day was harder than he had imagined, and he immediately opened all of his social networks; cyworld, me2day and twitter first of all. Some tweets from his brother Sungjin, some from friends and a few k-pop idols he followed, something in English he didn’t bother to understand and then;
‘Kim Ryeowook followed you’
Sungmin clicked the name and was redirected to @ryeong9’s twitter profile. As soon as he saw his photograph he recognized the guy as the waiter. He had since then often wondered if Ryeowook deliberately had looked at his phone for ways to stalk him, but had never asked. Even when he first found out, all he did was to send a tweet;
‘If you want to ask a coffee bar-staff member out, where do you take him? He must be sick of being in a café, right?’
Well below the 140-limit.
A reply came in barely a minute later.
‘@imSMI The movies? I wanna watch A Werewolf Boy~~ kekekekeke’

Heechul nodded silently towards the model walking in on the set and Sungmin snapped some photos until he was sure he would be satisfied with at least a few of them. Then he returned to his talk with his friend.
“Surely your cute Ryeowookie doesn’t want you to post that on the internet for everyone to see. Your story makes him look like a stalker, going through another person’s phone like that. I would have killed him, if it had been my phone!”
Sungmin shrugged and started packing up his things. “I don’t think so. I think it’s romantic, in its own… modernized way, I guess.”
Eventually Sungmin didn’t make it home before Ryeowook, though he would have liked to. The feeling when he opened the door and his boyfriend called out his name made him smile anyway. Somehow it made him feel comfortable knowing that this black haired boy he had picked up at a café would always be here to greet him, when he came home from work late.
Knowing his boyfriends habits Sungmin went to the bedroom straight away. Ryeowook was busy folding their laundry neatly when Sungmin grabbed his waist from behind and kissed him softly in the corner of his neck. “Hi love.”
The slender boy turned around in his arms, making them stand face to face, and put his arms around the blonde’s neck. “I’ve missed you.” He says the words almost breathlessly and that’s all it takes to make Sungmin’s heart rate increase.
“Did you see Heechul hyungs tweet?” Ryeowook continues. “He wrote ‘So goddamn difficult to work with’ hashtag ‘people in love’.” The black haired boy even pronounces the words ‘people in love’ as if they were one word, peopleinlove.
He lets his arms slide from Sungmin’s neck and down to his shirt, which he opens button by button, slowly, while remaining eye contact and with a devious smirk.
It doesn’t take long for Sungmin to decide, that he wants Ryeowook to lose his shirt as well, but the younger is faster and is already at his knees, taking his member in his mouth, never losing neither the eye contact nor the devious smirk on his lips.
Just then, as Sungmin rests his hand against Ryeowook’s skinny shoulder, he thinks to himself that he definitely prefers today’s version of love, compared to how they did it in older times. But then Ryeowook does this thing with his tongue along Sungmin’s tip and makes the blonde completely unable to think of anything but the boy in front of him for the next hour.
Their apartment is small, old and dusty and most of the sunlight comes at afternoon, when the sun is setting, but it’s still the morning-brightness of the room which manages to wake up Sungmin.
Both of them have the day off and Ryeowook is still sleeping. Sungmin doesn’t want to leave this cute, sleeping boy by his side, but he is also reluctant to waste his day away. So in the end he gets up from bed, just to reach for his camera and take a photo of his sleeping boyfriend.
His dark hair is spread out on the pillow and the faint light through the tall window makes it shine and resemble an angel’s halo. Sungmin always makes sure to have at least one of his many cameras and his laptop nearby and when he sits back down in bed, he immediately reaches for his laptop.
His start-page is his own blog; all his bookmarks are other social networks.
The blog is filled with selcas or photos of Ryeowook, or of both of them together, usually with some or very little text as well. In the sidebar there’s a describtion Sungmin hastily wrote, when he first started the blog;
‘Hi, my name is Sungmin~!
I’m a professional photographer, but
in my spare time I’m 100% dedicated
to the love of my life, Ryeowookie! If
you read this blog you’ll see a lot of
photos of him and me doing cute stuff
and being in love. You might get
a little lovesick yourself, so be careful!’
Yeah, he might have overdone the cuteness a bit, he thinks to himself. It’s a recurring thought, but he never actually does anything about it.
He starts typing a blog entry;
‘Ryeowookie, you’re too beautiful when you’re sleeping.
Look at your halo, like an angel, kekeke.
But I know, that inside, you’re a snarky little devil.
I love you so much. I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now.’

Above the text he posts the picture he took just now. He doesn’t have time to press the post-button before the boy next to him yawns, stretches and wake up. He smiles up at Sungmin, who leans down to give him a quick kiss on the lips.
Still half-asleep the younger of them takes a peek at the computer screen.
“Even now? I bet no one is reading that stuff anyway.” He complains with a voice still husky.
“You’re my number one reader, aren’t you?” Sungmin laughs it off. “Besides, I have a counter that hits about 1.000 views a day.”
Ryeowook drags himself into a sitting position, then puts an arm around Sungmin’s waist and gives him a sloppy, wet good morning-kiss.
“How much do you love me?” he asks and leans his head against the elder’s shoulder.
“As much as there are fish in the sea, trees on the planet and stars in the universe.”
“You’re too cheesy. Prove it.” Ryeowook laughs, yet manages to make his words sound like a dare.
“I’ve planned to spend the rest of my life proving it.” Sungmin answers, not caring that he’s only getting even cheesier with every comment.
He presses ‘post’ before closing the laptop and carefully placing it on the floor next to the bed, then facing Ryeowook, only to return the sloppy kiss he gave him earlier with a far more passionate one. He places a hand on Ryeowook’s chest and forces him gently down in bed once more.
His hands search the contour of Ryeowook’s pajamas, feeling up his body as if it was his first time touching it and Ryeowook’s body react just as it’s supposed to, just as Sungmin know that it will and it’s what brings him both butterflies and comfort.

Later, when Sungmin squeezes into his tight jeans, he notices Ryeowook looking at him with a different kind of smile. The younger of the two walks up to him only to caress his thigh and whisper softly; “this is one of the million things I love about you.”
“What are the other million things?” Sungmin ask, flattered, curious and slightly aroused by Ryeowook’s unpredicted touch.
“You would know if you read my tumblr.” By his last word Ryeowook’s smile has returned to its usual angelic smile, making Sungmin if possible even more itching to know the URL.
He tenderly presses his lips against his boyfriends and even when he opens his mouth to speak, he doesn’t let go of the contact between them, giving the words from his mouth to Ryeowook’s; “we’re too fucking dependent on the internet,” he says, like it’s some sort of secret they’re sharing.
“fucking,” Ryeowook repeats, as if that’s the only word he has heard, smiling wickedly.

Keep Your Head Up - Chapter 8

Ch. 8

The following week was completely free, for both Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, who instead made plans together.

Mostly, it consisted of meetings at cafés or restaurants, because even being too close to each other was hard, and being alone together was almost scary, filled with too much tension and unbroken eye contact.

So when the weekend came up, the two of them hadn’t even held hands yet, despite a week-old confession.

But the weekend was also the time for a special party; the release of the photo shots would be celebrated by the director of Vogue. Kyuhyun had thought that meant a flight to America, but his manager surprised him at the airport;

“We’re going to China. The director has invested in every part of the world, and this party will be in his suite at Jin Mao Tower. Shanghai, Kyuhyun-shi, the Paris of the East.”



The door to their room was opened smoothly and without creaking, the only sound being Ryeowook’s gasp. The smaller boy immediately ran across the big room and stopped at the window. Kyuhyun followed him with his eyes, but was far more patient in entering the room.

He noticed that their bags were already here, and that a bottle of champagne had been put on ice very recently. Most important though, he noticed that instead of a two-single bedroom, they had been placed in a room with a double bed.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and only then, he went to Ryeowook’s side, where he was met with a view unlike anything he had ever seen before.

Gently, almost afraid to fall through the hardly visible window, he put a hand against it. “This is really incredible.”

A soothing warmth fell in over him as Ryeowook hugged him close, snuggling his small face against Kyuhyun’s neck. “Have you noticed the bed?” Ryeowook asked, tone not being quite a dare, not completely innocent either.

“At least one of us notice the important things first.” Kyuhyun answered with a smirk on his lips. “Do you want to go 50-something floors down to get another room?”

“No. I like it here.” He said as he clung closer to Kyuhyun, without meeting his stare. When Kyuhyun began to undo the buttons on Ryeowook’s shirt, it quickly changed though; his eyes shot up to meet Kyuhyun’s, then back down at his hands, up again, out the window, down again.

Kyuhyun’s smirk grew even wider, despite being just as nervous as Ryeowook. He felt like he had to keep calm for both of them, even if it meant pretending.

“You’re too cute, Ryeowookie.” He said, a genuine smile on his face, his voice hoarse.

“Well..” Ryeowook began, hands now mirroring Kyuhyun’s, fingers slowly working through the other’s buttons. “I’m trying my best around you.”

By then, Kyuhyun couldn’t stop himself. He placed a hand on each of Ryeowook’s chins and kissed him, softly at first, but the taste of giving himself over was too addicting, like a kick in the guts making his world spin, making his stomach twirl, sending a shock through his spine and erasing everything but the person in front of him from his mind.

That’s why the sweet kiss turned into something lusty, giving Kyuhyun the courage to lift Ryeowook up in his arms and carry him to bed.

He had seen Ryeowook almost naked before, for Christ’s sake, they changed clothes several times a day when working and he had tried not to be too obviously with his peaking, but this was different, this was so different in so many ways.

Ryeowook noticed Kyuhyun’s sudden halt and caringly stroked a lock of hair away from his, for once, make-up free face.

“Kyu… This isn’t your first time, is it?”

A hint of a smile showed on Kyuhyun’s face. “I’ve never had a problem with dating boys, but.. somehow sex with girls always happened easier.”

It was Ryeowook’s turn to smile wickedly as his hand found its way down Kyuhyun’s trousers, closing around his already hardened shaft. “It’s really not that different.”


They were woken by Kyuhyun’s phone, playing the winning-tones from the Final Fantasy VII game. Both of the boys were confused at first, but it didn’t take Kyuhyun long to figure that it was his phone ringing.

He was still a bit groggy when he picked it up; “Yeah?”

 “The party begins in an hour. Will you make sure to get Ryeowook-shi ready as well? And don’t get lost! It’s just a few floors up, not much to get lost in.”

“yeah, yeah, sure.” Kyuhyun yawned, looking down his naked body, which was only covered by a thin sheet. Was an hour really enough to get rid of all this sweat and getting properly dressed?

one hour! if you’re late, I’ll kill both of you!” the manager yelled into the phone loud enough for even Ryeowook to hear.

They locked eyes and smiled, happily. Kyuhyun hung up, impolitely, without saying anything, then asked Ryeowook; “wanna take a shower together?”


The director’s home was huge, a penthouse with everything included. It seemed more like a modern, sky-reaching castle, really. Kyuhyun had never been to Shanghai before, but it didn’t seem unlikely when Ryeowook whispered in his ear, that you could probably see the entire city from this place.

They had been late even if just a few minutes, but most of the guests were important people trying their hardest to be ‘fashionably late’, not knowing that the main stars of the event had already arrived, not yet ruined by the superciliousness which would often haunt new stars, making them think themselves better than everyone else on the planet.

It didn’t bother any of the two though, who enjoyed walking through the place, eating from the appetizers handed on big silver plates by waiters in designed uniforms, sipping the pale pink champagne handed by waiters in a different, yet still stylish, uniform.

“Who do you think designed those?” Ryeowook asked quietly, standing close to Kyuhyun, yet far enough away for no one to suspect them being intimate.

“Calvin Klein, perhaps. Or it could be YSL or Dolce & Gabanna.”

Ryeowook snorted, still looking intently at the uniforms. “That’s odd guesses, those brands doesn’t look like each other at all.”

“They’re excellent guesses,” Kyuhyun bit back, “they all make suits, they’re all world renowned brands, and they’re all what I would have chosen for formal wear. I would come with a more specific guess if I could, but I can’t, because that thing you’re wearing makes it difficult to look away from you.”

Ryeowook’s head spun around the same way a deer’s does, when it detects the sound of a hunter. “The thing I’m wearing?” he asked, looking down himself. It wasn’t really all that. A pastel blue blazer from Ermanno Scervino’s latest collection and a white-grey striped v-neck shirt from NOERGAARD.

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes, over-acting 100%. “Did you save that shirt for now on purpose? You wore that the first time we met.”

Ryeowook shook his head, smiling. “I can’t believe you remember stuff like that, Kyu. Fashion is really too big a deal to you. I can’t even remember the brand of this thing.”

“What?! You know, you can just look at the name in the neck of it, right?!”

“I tore it out. It bothered me.”

Kyuhyun stared amazed after the other boy as he went to fetch some more champagne.

As soon as his conversation-partner had left though, someone else came to fill up the spot. The two of them had forgotten about being the stars of this event, but somehow got separated when people got less shy about talking to them.

More than a few times, people spoke of having predicted them as upcoming stars even before the Westwood shots. Kyuhyun wasn’t naïve enough to believe it, but he didn’t tell them to stop their flatter either. More like he showered in it, enjoying every moment.

 Once in a while he sent a glance in Ryeowook’s direction, who would return it more often than not, and smile reassuring at him.

Less than an hour into the party, the host appeared in glamour, wearing a hand-made, perfectly fitting, Emporio Armani suit, which was surprisingly hard to notice because of the man’s handsome features.

“Friends! Let’s welcome our host, director of Vogue, Choi Siwon.” Someone important-looking introduced.

Everyone’s eyes feel towards the man as soon as he began speaking; “Good evening my beautiful guests! I’ll get straight to the core; what we’re really here for, ladies and gentlemen, are our guests of honor, the best models in our time. Especially two models of this year’s winter collection, who manage to created an atmosphere of friendship so strong than even the threat of death cannot separate them.”

Kyuhyun’s eyes went to Ryeowook, who sent him back a look of ‘isn’t this a bit of exaggeration?’, but Kyuhyun just shrugged with a cocky smile.

“They are Kim Ryeowook and Cho Kyuhyun and I think they deserve a round of applause.” Everyone looked at the two of them, clapping hesitantly, not even having seen the photos yet. They all fell silent when Siwon resumed his speak; “Surely, so does the rest of the models, and not least photographers and make-up artist. This could not have happened without a whole crew of talented people.
And now, we will release the photos on these walls. Please accept them with warm hearts.”

With Siwon’s final words, the digital frames on the walls turned from the previous wall-white color into the Westwood shots. The photos were widely spread in the big place, forcing people to move around while mingling.

Kyuhyun’s present conversation-partners got curious as well and politely left him to go look.

The young boy took a deep breath and emptied the glass in his hand, which was quickly filled by a passing waiter. Kyuhyun didn’t have much time alone before a friend disturbed him;

“Are you tired already?” Donghae’s words were jokingly meant, but his voice showed concern.

“This was exactly what I dreamt of, Hae. It’s a dream come true.” Kyuhyun hugged his best friend closely. “I didn’t know you would be coming.”

“Of course you knew,” Donghae sighed, fought his way out of Kyuhyun’s embrace, and pointed towards Zhoumi who had engaged in a conversation with Siwon. “He made sure I got an invitation. He can’t do anything without me by his side.” The sporty guy rolled his eyes, trying to make it sound like a complaint, but Kyuhyun knew better.

“I take that as your relationship going well?”

Donghae seemed to have an inner fight, having to force his eyes away from Zhoumi, like the two of them had to connected at all times in some way. When he finally looked at Kyuhyun, he had a serious expression; “The work is the problem, Kyu. He doesn’t eat at all, he-”

Donghae stopped, considered his words, and changed them; “you, the both of all, all three of you, models all around the world; you don’t eat, you’re forced to do things you don’t want to do, like jumping into a basin of water even though you can’t swim, or holding a pigeon even though you’re afraid of birds, rolling around in mud or taking on the face of a beat-up housewife, and for who? People you don’t even like. For what reason? To make other people feel ugly enough to buy whatever your bodies are selling, so that they might feel confident enough to keep living long enough until a new product is out and you can force them to buy that as well.”

Kyuhyun was stunned. “Wow. Donghae that’s… not how it is. At all. I’m not even going to comment on that one. How does that even have anything to do with your relationship?”

“Zhoumi being one of the most beautiful things alive has its price, Kyu. People want to be told how to live, and the media wants to answer them, but how do they get the answer? From the paparazzi. I have no private life; there are photos of everything we do together in the magazines, just so people can copy us and might feel a little better about their own relationship.”

Kyuhyun put a hand on Donghae’s shoulder, smiling sweetly at him. “It’ll pass. You can’t keep being news forever, right? And the two of you will last. You’re still here tonight, right?”

“Pfft!” Donghae smiled widely back at Kyuhyun. “of course we’ll last. I love him. I really, really, really do. Honestly, with all of my heart, I love him. That’s the only reason why I’m here tonight, you know how I hate those fake, arrogant, famous people.”

“Hey! I’m one of those now,” Kyuhyun blinked jokingly at his friend, then noticed Siwon and Zhoumi starring intently in their direction. “Should we join them?” he suggested his friend, then sent a gaze in Ryeowook’s direction, seeing him talk with… Kibum?

[<previous] [next>will be out before september 28th]

a/n: I'm so sorry for the long wait on this chapter. I've just started university and it's, unlike what I thought, not the preparations for class which take up time, but far more the social activities. I'm really happy right now, my life is on tracks and going in the right direction, but, I haven't had much freetime lately, sorry :| next chapter will come faster, promise!

how did you like this chapter? I want to go full nc-17, but I'm not sure if I can write smut and also, I'm not sure if you guys will appreciate it? Please let me know!

Keep Your Head Up - Chapter 7


Vivienne Westwood photoshot: Old Enough To Bleed.
Though I'm not particularly a fan of Westwood's clothes, I couldn't help myself but to choose her for this project after seeing these photos. You can see the entire shot here.

Ch. 7

On the photographer’s recommendation, Ryeowook went onto the diving board. Fear had its firm grip on him, yet it took no more than a look in Kyuhyun’s direction for Ryeowook to find courage.

Kyuhyun mouthed the words ‘Keep your head up’, to him, a faint smile on his lips.

He jumped; the water surrounded him, sending chills through his entire body; it was freezing, suffocating and dark and horrible, dragging him towards the bottom.

He knew he had to open his eyes to get a good shot, but fear made them clench hard.

He didn’t know how far down he was, not even which direction the camera was in.

His fingers were going numb and his lungs empties, small bubbles of oxygen struggling to get to the surface.

He imagined how the producer would be waiting for him at the surface, most likely yelling some unintelligible words in English, while the stylist would try to make something out of the ruin of his face.

The water clung to him, pulling him down. Isn’t humans supposed to float in water?

Though the sound was muffled by the water, Ryeowook was suddenly sure that he could hear Kyuhyun’s distinct voice. Longing made him open his eyes; I have to do my best. I have to my best for you, Kyuhyun.

And the camera was just there, so close, and he’s facing the right direction, but suddenly there are dark spots in his vision, which hasn’t been there before, and a weird, frightening pressure on his chest, forcing what is left of air to leave his lungs.

He wants to surface but his entire body is going numb and he can’t move.

A flash from a camera light up the dark water and Ryeowook becomes aware of a too-familiar face in front of him; Kyuhyun is so close to him that he can see his own reflection in the other’s eyes.

I love you, Ryeowook screamed at him, with whatever means he had left; with his eyes, his face, his mind; if he was going to die now, he at least wanted Kyuhyun to know that one thing.

And then they kissed, deeply.


Had he heard him? Had Kyuhyun understood, that Ryeowook loved him? Or was this what it meant to be in heaven?

Oh God, how Kyuhyun’s lips were soft, even when pressed so firmly against his own.

A thousand emotions ran through before he realized that air was filling his lungs again. His mind strengthened, the black spots in his vision disappearing.

The realization was followed by a tight grab on his wrist and a firm pull.

They reach the surface with a splutter of water and air, both of the boys heaving for their breath. The frail black-haired boy can’t see at first, water stinging in his eyes, but he can hear an applause going through the entire hall.

He can hear his manager’s voice, and Zhoumi’s too, but it’s only Kyuhyun’s words that reaches him; “I’m here. You’re okay.”

Tears welled up Ryeowook’s eyes, and he tried to sink some of the water in his mouth, but it only made his throat even drier; he turned his face to be met with Kyuhyun’s concerned look. And then he told him; “I love you.”


Someone, Ryeowook didn’t notice who, helped him up from the poll and wrapped a towel around his shaking body.

Someone else clapped his back in a friendly manner, telling him that most of the shots where either brilliant or perfect, but that the last one (which depicted Kyuhyun passing oxygen to Ryeowook’s weak body,) somehow had been the essence of Vivienne Westwood.

If almost drowning was the essence of Westwood, then this had to be the last time Ryeowook ever did a shoot for her.

All he could think about was Kyuhyun, who hadn’t been given any time to answer to Ryeowook’s confession, before being dragged away to do his solo shots.

He would much rather spend his time with Kyuhyun, or even alone, but some of the coordi noona’s were worried and kept fussing about him, forcing him to be in a place where he was able to hear whispers from the other models both about himself being a drama queen, and unsuited for the job, and even worse; too loud whispers about Kyuhyun having fucked his way to the job.

Ryeowook disliked most of these people and therefore didn’t hesitate when Kyuhyun’s phone rang; he immediately picked it up.

“This is Ryeowook, you’re calling Kyuhyun’s phone.”


“Do I know you?” Ryeowook asked, checking the name on the phone; ‘Guy no. 3 - Hae’. The weird name made Ryeowook wonder what his own number was written in as; it had to be checked later!

“Not yet!” the voice sounded smiley. “My name is Lee Donghae. I’m sure we’ll be good friends.”

“Umn.. yeah, okay, I guess we.. can..?” Ryeowook didn’t really know what to say, though he couldn’t regret having answered the phone. This was far better than listening to the other models.

“Anyway, could you tell Kyuhyun that his mother will kill him if he doesn’t send a copy of this magazine? I just talked with her today, and he is such a bad son, honestly.”

Ryeowook laughed, being able to understand all too well; “sure, I will.”

“Okay, thank you. Maybe this time he’ll actually listen. See you later, Ryeowook-shi~”

Ryeowook hung up, wondering if he’d actually ever meet this friend of Kyuhyun’s.


There had been no reason at all to worry for Kyuhyun’s safety. He was a very capable swimmer and his shots went perfectly well.

With a cup of coffee in each hand he went into the locker room, where Ryeowook sat, almost finished changing to his normal clothes.

He put the plastic cups down on the bench, before sitting down in front of Ryeowook, placing his hands on Ryeowook’s thighs.

“Were you in some kind of shock after almost dying?”

“Why?” there was an edge of defense in his voice.

“Because you told me that you love me.” Kyuhyun tilted his head, staring into Ryeowook’s eyes, still with his hands on Ryeowook’s thighs. “Do you remember it?”

“I wasn’t in shock. Or, umn, well, maybe I was, but I meant it. I.. I really do. Love you.”

Kyuhyun then leaned in all close, kissing Ryeowook again, this time taking the other’s breath away. “I love you too,” he whispered back.

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a/n: in the next chapter we will meet Donghae and Kibum again, also; surprise guest! who could it be? Ö kekekekeke.

If I could please ask a favour? Could you vote here for my story Old Pine, (which you can read here,) then it would make me really really happy! If you do, I promise not to kill Ryeowook in the 10th chapter! (and if you don't... then maybe I will. mwuahahaha! no, but really, it means a lot to me. Please? ;A;)

Keep Your Head Up - Introduction

Title: Keep Your Head Up
Pairings: KyuWook, HaeMi
Characters: Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, in later chapters Donghae, Zhoumi and Kibum
Summary: The life and love of two models under pressure from the entertainment world
Genre: model!au, romance, angst, friendship
Rating: I’m not sure yet, but somewhere along it’ll be R or NC-17 rated.
Chapters: thus-far estimated 12 chapters

[2[3[4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Keep Your Head Up - Chapter 6

Ch. 6

The next day Kyuhyun called Ryeowook, asking if he could come over.

To his relief the other didn’t sound hangover; he claimed to be a strong drinker, and Kyuhyun believed him.

When he stepped into Ryeowook’s apartment Kibum wasn’t there.

“Has he gone home already?” Kyuhyun didn’t care whether it was an appropriate question or not, he liked things to be said straight-forward, even though Ryeowook didn’t seem like that kind of person.

“Who?” Ryeowook turned away from the coffee he was brewing, to look at Kyuhyun with a rare, tender look. “Kibum? He’s a light sleeper; I would have walked him up a million times. He walked me to the door, that’s all.”

He turned back towards the coffee, pouring it into mugs, successfully hiding his blush when he wondered if Kyuhyun had been jealous.

“Oh…” was all the answer that the brown haired young man could offer back.

“So,” Ryeowook handed him one of the mugs, “what did you want to tell me?”

“First of; who is your favorite model? Don’t say Kate Moss! Only amongst male models, this time.” He was getting excited. Not only had he secured both of them a spot at Vivienne Westwood’s Winter Collection photo shoot (Donghae had somehow made Zhoumi generous, even though Kyuhyun suspected that Zhoumi very simply just was a nice person, with an eye for talent.) but he would also be able to tell Ryeowook of his meeting with one of the biggest models in the world.

Zhao Lei; 188cm tall, Chinese, studying a medical degree before he became a succesful model.
Has walked for big designers such as Giorgio Armani, Vivienne Westwood, Dolce & Gabana, etc.

noah mills
Noah Mills; 188cm tall, Canadian.
Has walked for Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, Dolce & Gabana, Versace and Michael Kors, and other big designers.

“I guess..” he looked thoughtfully up into the loft, taking a sip of his coffee. “Noah Mills, professionally. And because he’s down to earth and relaxed. But Zhao Lei is more.. umn.. how to say it..”

“-your type?” Kyuhyun laughed.

simon nessman
Simon Nessman; 188cm tall, Canadian.
Known for several big names such as Giorgio Armani, Versace, Dolce & Gabana, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Yves Saint Laurent, Tommy Hilfiger, Lacoste, Michael Kors, etc.

Francisco Lachowski; 188cm tall, Brazilian.
Has walked for Gucci, Dior Homme, Versace, Dolce & Gabana, Lacoste, Armani, and many more. 

“I feel the same way about Simon Nessman – he’s great, but Francisco Lachowski has this thing, a look in his eyes and makes you fall in love with him and it’s the same thing that you got, and it’s-”

Ryeowook dropped his mug on the floor, sending hot coffee and shards of porcelain everywhere; only then did Kyuhyun realize what he had just said.

Kyuhyun tried to meet Ryeowook’s gaze, but the black haired immediately looked away, looking for something to dry up the spilled coffee with.

“Don’t-” Kyuhyun stopped him, grabbing his wrists. “I’ll do it in a minute. Just.. let me finish.”

Ryeowook, unable to do anything else, nodded.

Kyuhyun actually intended to confess now, just in this moment. But the confused look in Ryeowook’s eyes and the spilt coffee made him think that it would be effortless. This was one-sided, and who wouldn’t prefer a friend over a rejected love?

“I met Zhoumi in the club yesterday. The famous Zhoumi. The one who should have been on the top of both our lists. And he gave us a job. For Vivienne Westwood!” He tried his best to sound enthusiastic, but he wasn’t sure if he could fool someone who knew him so well by now.

 Anyway, he hadn’t expected Ryeowook to react this way.

“YOU WHAT?! CHO KYUHYUN, TELL ME THAT YOU DIDN’T JUST FUCK BOTH OF US TO THE TOP! That’s… that’s… disgusting! What the hell did you do to my friend, because you’re not the Kyuhyun I knew!”

Kyuhyun wrinkled his nose, not the least liking that Ryeowook would think that way of him. (Even though he had had intentions to fuck him, didn’t mean that he actually did it.)

“So how does it feel to get there so easily?” Ryeowook asked him, voice trembling with anger.

Kyuhyun glanced at him, noticing how his arms were crossed and his eyes cold, before looking back down at the coffee-mug in his hands.

Ryeowook wasn’t the only angry one though.

“Well, if it bothers you that much, I’ll get you out of the deal, and you won’t have to do the Vivenne Westwood-shot with me.” Kyuhyun answered back angrily, almost yelling now.

“Why did you get me in to begin with? I’m not even close to being that good! Did you honestly think that people wouldn’t think that I slept my way to the job too?!”

“Maybe they won’t! Maybe they’ll see how amaaazingly innocent you are! Maybe they’ll know that I got you in on friendship, because what the hell’s the difference between fucking someone once or twice anyway?!”

“So you did fuck him?!”

Kyuhyun left the room, slamming the door.


A month later, with no communication between the two of them, Kyuhyun sat in the backseat as they manager stops in front of Ryeowook’s apartment in Hongdae.

When Kyuhyun lay eyes on his coworker, he is instantly concerned. Ryeowook doesn’t look like he has been sleeping at all. He discreetly sniffs, relieved when he smells coffee and not alcohol.

The silence in the car is so heavy that Kyuhyun begins to wonder if the air is safe to breathe in.

Their manager checks on them from the rearview mirror, but doesn’t say anything.

A bling-bling from Kyuhyun’s phone warned him that a text message had arrived.

‘He’s really so amazing, Kyu :D’

‘I know, you already told me.’ Kyuhyun answered back sourly, having a difficult time being happy for his friend, whose new relationship had cost him a precious friendship.

‘He is so tall~ I can’t believe how anyone can be so elegant! If those were my legs, I would trip at least once a day, kekeke’

Kyuhyun sighed, putting his phone back in his pocket without answering it, stealing a glance at Ryeowook who looked quietly out the window.

Not good enough for Westwood, pfft. You’re the most beautiful guy I’ve ever met, you stupid brat.


They arrived at the set and led to the make-up tables, where experiences make-up artists were waiting for them, none of them Korean, which made it difficult to lead a conversation.

Eventually the silence grew too much for young Kyuhyun, who had always been impatient anyway; “I didn’t do it, you know.”

Ryeowook looked at him, at first confused, then surprised once he understood what Kyuhyun meant; “Why didn’t you just say so back then?”

“Because I was angry at you. I thought you would.. you know.. realize that I hadn’t done it.”

“I did… I think.. The moment I decided that I wanted to go with you.. If I truly had believed that you had done it, I wouldn’t have come here with you today.”

Kyuhyun didn’t know what to answer and they both fell back into silence, until Zhoumi walked in, fashionably late.

“Hi Kyuhyun-shi.” He greeted him with a smile then turned to look at Ryeowook with kind eyes. “You must be Ryeowook-shi. I’ve heard a lot about you. You really are as beautiful as Kyuhyun-shi told me.”

Ryeowook’s eyes opened wide, staring from Zhoumi to Kyuhyun, mouthing the words; ‘You told him I’m beautiful?

“Your strong point is your jaw-line. Make sure it’s visible and you’ll do great.”

Zhoumi’s eyes seemed so kind and gentle, completely innocent; Ryeowook couldn’t help but to instantly like him and only took his eyes away from him to look at Kyuhyun in disbelief.


When the make-up was done and the designer-fitted clothes put on, the three of them went to the set, in which there was a pool bigger than any Kyuhyun had ever seen before.

From his first glance at Ryeowook, he could tell that something was wrong, but this time he didn’t have to ask.

I can’t swim..” the smaller, black-haired boy whispered, desperately, to him.

Kyuhyun’s heart cringed; he would gladly have thought Ryeowook how to, but it was too late now. Their manager had overheard him, and added in; “You don’t need to be able to swim, Ryeowook-shi. Just drop gracefully down until they have the shot, then flail your arms until you’re up. It’s that easy.”

They both ignored him though, and Ryeowook’s fragile fingers clawed at the fabric covering Kyuhyun’s wrists; “I want to leave..” he whispered this even lower, as if it was some terrible secret.

Maybe it was. People would kill to be in Ryeowook’s place and yet he wanted to leave, just because of some water?

Kyuhyun stared at him in disbelief. “Really?” if it was what Ryeowook really wanted, Kyuhyun would find a way to get him out of the contract. Somehow, surely, he would be able to help his friend.

Ryeowook really did want to leave, but still shook his head and mumbled a quiet “no. I have to stay.” Because if he left now, he knew that the guilt would follow him everywhere.

And, even more important, he didn’t want to leave Kyuhyun’s side.

Not now, not ever.

So when the cameraman gave the sign, Ryeowook jumped into the water.

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a/n: do you hate me for flinging in all the male-model-knowlegde I have? sorry ._. it's not something I would usually have, but I have been googling all kinds of model-stuff ever since I started writing this, /sigh/. no one is as pretty as Zhoumi though. Should have put in a picture of him too, LOL.

Keep Your Head Up - Chapter 5

Ch. 5

Being unable to come with anything better, Kyuhyun went back to the club he just came from, struggling all the way on uneven legs. The encounter with Kibum might have sobered his mind, but his legs felt just as unsure as earlier.

He went in there with a good fuck in mind and deliberately sat down next to a guy with long, slim legs, which he immediately imagined wrapped around his waist.

Yes, this was the guy to hook up with, nothing would be better to get small, cute Ryeowook out of his mind, with his wonderful smile and loud laugh, and… Kyuhyun got lost in his thoughts, only returning to reality when the long-legged guy next to him put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” The stranger’s features were beautiful, mixed with somewhat familiar.

“Umn…” Kyuhyun did his best to remember where he had seen the guy before. He wasn’t the type to go for one-night stands usually, so that couldn’t be it. If only he wasn’t drunk..

“You looked really sad just then. Now you just look confused,” the beautiful stranger laughed, though worry still shone from his eyes.

“I know you. But I don’t remember how..” and just then, it hit him. This guy, this beautiful guy in front of him, was Zhoumi, a world-renowned Chinese model.

“You look like you remember now?” Zhoumi raised a brow, showing a bit of curiosity.

“I remember,” Kyuhyun answered, a smirk appearing on his lips.


“You’re going to shoot for Westwood’s winter collection.”

Zhoumi laughed out loud; “Is that really my biggest accomplishment?”

“No,” Kyuhyun answered, leaning in close to Zhoumi, locking their eyes. “But I will be my biggest accomplishment.”


Zhoumi wasn’t exactly against recommending Kyuhyun for Westwood. Even a fool could see that Kyuhyun had a huge potential as a model, Kyuhyun knew that much. He knew that, just by talent, he would be able to go to the top somehow.

But Kyuhyun was also a very impatient person, who didn’t like to wait for anything, especially not for his dreams to come true.

Zhoumi though, wasn’t quite as cooperative as Kyuhyun would have liked, despite obviously liking what he saw.

“There is this guy, who only goes to this place to tell us all, with a mere face expression, how much he is disgusted by us.”

“Is he famous?” Kyuhyun asked, looking around, trying to spot the boy Zhoumi was talking about.

“Not even close. But he’s my Vivenne Westwood, Kyuhyun-shi. Even if you don’t understand love, you must understand what that means. I hate clubbing. I hate the music here, the smell of vomit and alcohol, the people and the slippery floor.  I only come here for one reason.”

“You don’t look very much like you’re flirting with him right now.”

“I can’t flirt with him! Look at him! He’s not even close to being homosexual.”

Zhoumi pointed out a young man, clad in a white v-neck t-shirt, black jeans, and an Italian belt. Overall, it didn’t look fashionable, but it did look very expensive. The most interesting part though, was that Kyuhyun knew that guy.

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but to smile, contemplating. “If I get you his number, can you secure me a spot on the Westwood team for winter collection?”

“Pfft. Who do you think I am? It’ll be nothing, the gal adores me.” Zhoumi waved his hand in the most gay-ish way Kyuhyun had ever seen.

“I’ll be right back then.”


Kyuhyun walked with confidence, stretching out his hand for Zhoumi’s love-object.

“What?” the young man looked at him with disappointment.
“You’re not even greeting me with a hug now, Kyuhyunie? Did I do something wrong?”

The other’s face expression was worse than sad, and Kyuhyun hurried to explain; “Donghae-yah, you know I love you! But right now, I need you to give your number to the guy over there..”

Kyuhyun, smiling the widest he had done for a long time, pointed at Zhoumi’s direction.

“Which one of them?”

“The handsome one, of course. He’s already crazy about you.”

Donghae suddenly looked a mix of nervous and pleased. “You know him too, right Kyuhyun? I can’t date someone famous.”

“Of course you can.” Kyuhyun wasn’t going to lose an opportunity like this.

Donghae sighed, giving up already; “okay, I’ll go talk to him. No promises though.”

[<previous] [next>]

Keep Your Head Up - Chapter 4

Ch. 4

When he had first promised to pick him up at midnight, Ryeowook had complained about the time. It was too late, he would be tired, everyone would be drunk already and heading home, his first night out would be a failure for sure.

But as always Kyuhyun had just laughed it off. Now it was a quarter to midnight and Ryeowook wasn't tired at all, adrenalin pumping through his blood. He always had this feeling, this wonderful feeling, when waiting for Kyuhyun. Hs mind would wander and his heart would beat faster. He was deeply in love and he knew.

Not that he planned to act on it. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the feeling. Spending as much time as possible with Kyuhyun was of course also a part of his plan.

 There was a knock on the front door and a loud "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYEOWOOKIE~!", followed by a wide smile as soon as Ryeowook opened the door. His hearted stop for a moment as he realized just how perfect Kyuhyun’s face was.

"I brought over a cake. Let's eat some, then go out."

The box exchanged hands and Ryeowook carefully opened the lid to reveal a layered pink cake decorated with fruits.

"We can't eat this..." he softly scolded his friend, looking at him with an apologetic expression.

"Just one piece, Ryeowook."

"No, we can't. We really can't. I'm already gaining too much weight."

"Well, they shouldn't care so fucking much about your weight. Neither should you. Don't be stupid, let's just have one piece."

"Don't be stupid?! Who exactly is the stupid one, when we're told to lose weight and you still eat like nothing happened?!“

Kyuhyun sighed and Ryeowook noticed a flicker of worry in his eyes.

Ryeowook had always been bad at handling conflicts, even worse at holding grudges. He had to give in, if not for the sake of peace, then because Kyuhyun just looked to let-down; “Just one piece then..”


They went clubbing in Hongdae, in Kyuhyun’s favorite club, Big Baby.

Kyuhyun had taken Ryeowook’s hand and led him down the dark staircase, into the crowded club. The warm summer had made coats unnecessary and they went straight for the bar, where Kyuhyun ordered a bucket of long ice tea.

It came with plenty of straws, made for sharing between more than two persons, but Ryeowook’s friends wouldn’t show up until later.

When Kyuhyun noticed Ryeowook sucking absentminded at the straw at the same time as him, he took the chance to look carefully at his face-expression. He seemed so gentle, fragile and innocent. Kyuhyun found himself in a better mood, smiling at nothing.

“Come on, let’s dance!” he said, taking Ryeowook’s hand one more time, with a sweeter touch than before.


They got sweaty and drunk and closer every second. Lingering eye contact, touches that only alcohol could make them brave enough to dare.

But they were still in a club and even while drunk, they were aware of that.

Though they were both strong drinkers, Kyuhyun eventually has to take Ryeowook home. The poor boy is barely able to stand on his feet, much less able to find his way home.

It’s with a mix of excitement and nervousness that Kyuhyun supports Ryeowook as they walk towards his apartment.

“Ryeowook? Is that you?” the voice is unfamiliar to Kyuhyun, who eyes the young man suspiciously.

“Who are you?” he says, not letting go of Ryeowook, who is halfway-passed out next to him.

“I’m Kim Kibum. I’m a friend of Ryeowook.”

Kyuhyun knew. Kyuhyun knew this name. It took a few seconds for him to remember, but then it came to him, cutting at his heart.

“I’ve heard of you.” You dream-shattering bastard, you should know what Ryeowook has accomplished, he is-

“KIIIIiiiiibuuuumie~~” both faces turned towards the drunken boy who now had a wide smile on his face. “I missed you KIIIIIIIbuuuum~!”

The level of excitement made Kyuhyun sick to his stomach.

“I know, I missed you too.” Kibum smiled back at him. “It’s your birthday today, right? Let me walk home, I’ll get you safe to bed, like old days.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll -” but Kyuhyun was quickly interrupted by Ryeowook.

“It’ll be fun! Thank you~”


Kyuhyun stared after them for a long time before realizing that he was jealous.

The realization sent him straight back at the club he just came from, trying to drown his sorrows.

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Old Pine

for aideshou's 3rd challenge.

Title: Old Pine
Author: SilkeKim
Rating: nc-17
Genre: au, romance, atmospheric, sliiight angst
Word count:
Promptthe picture

Tao walked through his
family’s garden with a bucket of apples in each hand, when he saw Kris spying at him from the other side of the fence.

He tried not to let his excitement show on his face, ignoring the other boy completely instead while walking up to the house. He put the buckets next to the staircase leading up to the main entrance, then turned around and sent Kris his most disarming smile.

Kris immediately returned it.

Tao’s walking was more like little jumps all the way over to Kris, who tapped him friendly on the shoulder. “Took you long enough,” he told him mockingly.

“I had to finish my duties,” Tao answered with an apologetic bow, sweat on his brow after a day of hard work. “What have you been doing today?” he asked the older boy.

“Studying,” Kris sighed. “Wanna get going?”

“I’ll race you there!” Tao laughed and raced of, Kris staring after him for just a few seconds in amazement before he started running too.

They ran through the small village together like young, wild boys do, as fast as they possibly could, with no worries, the wind running through their hair, accelerating as the descended the hill on which they lived.

An auntie was yelling at them to behave themselves, but no one really cared, not even the auntie herself; for boys that age, it was healthy to run into the wild after school or duties, everyone agreed; 'Let boys be boys'.

They made it out of the small village and Kris grabbed Tao's hand, interlacing their fingers.

Tao smiled shyly, while Kris tried his best to keep up with the younger's tempo which kept increasing.

By the time they made it to the forest, the sun was almost setting, giving an orange glow to the trees. It made the sky look like it was afire. The sight would always remind him of Kris after this summer, where they had spent almost every day together like this.

It was beautiful.

On the other side of the woods, at Mr. Kim's grain field, Tao finally fell over, struggling to breathe, pulling down Kris with him, laughing loudly as he did.

The knee-tall grain covered them completely when they were like this, lying at the ground.

Tao knew by now, because they had been doing this all summer. He still gasped for air when Kris kissed him, passionately and out of breath.

"I want to stay this way with you forever." Tao said, tenderly wiping off sweat from Kris’s lower lip.

"I know," Kris answered. Neither of the two wanted to state that it was impossible.

Instead Tao spread his legs, making way for Kris, who pushed in between them firmly, claiming what was his.

Easily, he pulled off Tao’s sweatpants, which he always wore for the hard work at the farm.
The hard work was evident in other aspects as well; like how rough the skin on Kris’s lover’s hands were, and how well defined his muscles were despite his young age.

Tao stared up at Kris, Goosebumps spreading over his body as the older interlaced their fingers once more, rough against the soft hands of a rich scholar.

Their breathing became shallow, but only Tao moaned out loud as Kris entered him.

Panting, Kris leaned down to kiss him, muffling the sound.

“Shh, honey. If anyone finds us, I raped you, remember?”

Tao nodded, tears glistening in his eyes from the shame and pain, though Kris by far made it worth everything.

From above the sun still shone down on them, though it wouldn’t be more than an hour or two, before even the late midsummer sun was gone.
The late heat it gave of made them even sweatier, and gave Kris’ back a dark-skinned tone he wouldn’t usually have had.

Tao yelled out Kris’s name as he came, and for once Kris didn’t care.

The grain straws glowed around them, shutting out the world, making it seem like no one else but the two of them existed.

"I want to be allowed to go to heaven, when I die. I can't, because of you." Tao looked at the exhausted boy next to him, curious to see if he would feel guilt.

"Everyone wants to go to heaven, but only few wants to die." Kris answered, seemingly unaware of the shame he had brought into the younger boys life.

Tao didn’t say anything, so Kris explained; " I think it’s because we somehow still prefer earth to heaven."

"I would rather be on earth with you…" Tao agreed thoughtfully.

"But you would rather be at home with your parents, than be with me." Kris counteracted.

"I never said that."

"You never have to make that decision. I'm leaving for the army next month." The words were said carelessly, though Kris had planned out exactly how to say them. He didn’t want to make it any more difficult for Tao than it already was.

"What? No! Don't leave me!"

“It was really only a matter of time. It’s safer this way, trust me.”

"But I need you here! I.. I'll tell them you're gay.” Tao sat up straight, staring down angrily at his lover, threatening in a low voice; “I'll tell them how we fucked all night, and they'll discharge you with dishonor."

"You won't.” Kris answered, sitting up too, but refusing to meet Tao’s stare.
“Because you secretly want to get rid of me. Of the feeling of guilt every time you've been with me, of your mother’s condescending look and of the shame you think you've brought to you family, even though they don’t even know what we’re doing out here."

Tao looked at him in pure surprise, mouth hanging open, not knowing what to answer.

"We both know it’s the truth.” Kris stood up, reaching a hand down to Tao, to help him up. “Come on baby, we gotta get back before it gets dark this time."

After the unwanted news of Kris leaving for the army, Tao’s mind would wander for long times, making him relieved that most of his time was spent herding his family’s sheep, which was a trouble-free task most of the time.

The week crawled by and though the two boys kept meeting, Tao would always have that look; as if he in his mind were somewhere far away, making a difficult decision. They simultaneously grew sadder and sadder, and when Kris said his goodbyes to the family, he had expected Tao there, only to be disappointed.

He arrived at the military area by train with hundreds of other men.

As he was standing in line for picking up his new stuff, he spied a familiar face in a different row, making his heart jump with happiness.

Tao turned around, making eye contact with Kris for the first time in a month. For a moment they just stood there, staring at each other.

Then Kris smirked, sent him a flirtatious wink, and moved on in the line.

a/n: I just thought the pairing was perfect for what I had in mind.
if you liked it, please vote here